Failure is a constant part of life, whether it is in a test, interview or business. Many famous people have failed numerous times before making it big. Abraham Lincoln lost 26 campaigns before becoming president, Micheal Jordan was cut off of his highschool basketball team and Stephen King’s book, Carrie, was rejected 30 times before being published. All of these people had to struggle and then had the opportunity to rise up to be where they are today. Was it hard? Very likely. Did they give up? No. You shouldn’t either! Here are a few tips to help you deal with failure and help you rise up to success.
“Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly.”
– Robert F. Kennedy.
1. Don't Focus on the Problem-- Focus on the Solution
“Mourn, then move on” is a way you can put it. Failure sometimes will take over your emotions. You will feel frustrated, sad, angry, mixed with other emotions that come from the situation. This is a natural process of our emotions when things don’t work out the way we want them to. Even so you need to get yourself together and move on. Staying in a dark room will not bring anything. Focus on how you can solve the problem. Look for solutions and try them. If it is a major failure then it is time to find a new goal and try again. There is no problem in this world that can’t be solved. When you have your mindset on solutions and not on problems you can move on. Remember to search for solutions or ask for help when needed. You can reach others, who have faced the same problem or share your feelings with loved ones to bring some inner peace.
“There’s no use talking about the problem unless you talk about the solution.”
– Betty Williams
2. Take the Opportunity to Learn from your Mistakes
If you don’t know what went wrong, then you’re destined to repeat it. The moment you know something is not working means that it is time to take a step back and study your process. Try to find what, when, or how things went wrong by going over your steps. You can do this by writing the steps on a notebook,apps or web-pages that have your daily achievements. Remember that failure is only a step closer to success.
“I have not failed. I have found 10,000 ways that don’t work.”
– Thomas Edison.
3. Be Kind to Yourself
When we fail we tend to put the blame on ourselves. Is it because “you are not good enough, you are not capable enough or not intelligent enough?”. The answer is no. There are hundreds of reasons why you could have failed and it has nothing to do with how capable you are. This moment is for you to take yourself up and start again but before trying again do something to make yourself feel better.
Start by taking a break, go watch a movie, go for a walk, hang out with your loved ones or do something alone that makes you feel good like taking a bubble bath or eating ice cream. Let your mind and body rest from all the hard work. Remember to avoid any negative thoughts, just keep saying positive things about yourself like “you can do it, it is not anyone’s fault, we can try again”.
Once you have recovered, then start again with a positive attitude. Don’t think negatively about yourself because you have everything to succeed, you just need to find the right way of doing it.
“Remember you have been criticizing yourself for years and it hasn’t worked. Try approving yourself and see what happens.”
– Louise L Hay
4. Don’t Let Fear Win
Fear is constantly lurking and waiting for the exact moment to attack. You might rethink starting again because of the fear of failing once more. You need to remember your goal, why you started this and fight to surpass that fear. Life is about taking risks, sometimes we fail and sometimes we succeed but in the end it is still a win, we learn and we try again.
Keep focus on your goal and try over and over again until you succeed. Fear will always be there waiting but you need to ask yourself, are you going to let fear rule your life or are you going to rule over your fears? Once you find the answer to this question you will be able to do anything.
“The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.”
— Nelson Mandela
There you have it! By integrating these 4 steps in your life you can start turning what you categorize as “failures” into successes. Remember that consistency is key when it comes to changing how you view failure. No matter how hard an obstacle may seem, allow yourself to take a step back from the situation, analyze it with a fresh perspective, and use those lessons learned from past mistakes as stepping stones to achieve your goal.
You are the pilot of your journey, take control of your rocket and you will see that the possibilities are sky-high when it comes to your potential.